Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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