The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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