Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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