Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
