end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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