Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
