who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
