why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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