you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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