Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
