she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
