Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Randomize
