So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
