Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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