I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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