Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
