Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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