I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You took a bar mat shot.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
