So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
