I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
