Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Who put my cat in the fridge?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
