if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize