I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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