normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
