did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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