Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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