Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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