Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize