Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
