remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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