Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sorry about my life...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
