tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have post one night stand depression
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
