I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
