Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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