i just had sex bonerless
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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