jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
