Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just want nice things and good sex
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
