i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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