There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
