The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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