We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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