I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize