we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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