ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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