apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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