therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
