no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
