It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize