I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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