dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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