This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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