She tied me up with her honor cords...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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