I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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