and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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