No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
