At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I want a musical about memes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
