also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
