Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
