Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
