my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
