its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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