1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
