question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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