He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
