At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
