You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
